CowgirlCoder

Life - A Poem

Fri, 20 Feb 1998 03:41:39 -0800

It happened again. Yesterday.

A normal day. Tired, tense, busy,

I left.

The office followed me, shadowed my thoughts.

Raining Oregon hard, and windy. Storming inside, outside my head.

Five minutes to wipe the stress, to become Mom again.

I drove around the corner, glanced up, poured liquid glory through my soul.

Thirty seconds, maybe a minute, faded to salmon and quickly to night.

It's happened before. A rainbow fragment, the flash of daffodil

against mud-brown,

breath of air that burns the lungs...

Something there is that refuses despair,

no matter how strong the current,

how deep the pool.

Last month, in fear, anger, trouble,

every book I touched, every fortune I opened,

every friend's quick hand,

taught anew how strong the longest bonds,

how fleeting the daily trauma.

Open self to life. The Universe is, was, will be.

Reflections After the Change Shop

Wed, 01 Oct 1997 04:41:39 -0700

Change Shop is such an interesting name. And I did, in fact, expect to be changed by the experience.

Was I changed? I’m not sure. If I had been, would I necessarily recognize that fact? Certainly, I feel strong now. I don’t always manage to express that strength, and when I do it sometimes comes out in an inappropriate manner. But it’s definitely there. So where did it come from? Was it poured into me by the instructors and the other students? Or is it something integral to me, a part of the essential fabric of my being?

I’ve changed. But the me inside rejects the thought of being changed. I haven’t lost anything. I don’t think I’ve gained anything, in the sense of having it plugged in from the outside. I’ve rearranged parts of myself (perhaps literally!). The power now flows easier, it wells up from the depths and can be dammed or freed as I choose.

As a child, I felt weak and vulnerable. Was I powerless? Or was it the power inside me that allowed me to survive?

Power comes in three forms, the power to say Yes, the power to say No, and the power to Endure. The last is the raw skeleton of existence. It is left when there is nothing else. Some people get stuck there, I think, and that truly is tragic.

Overlaying that is the power to say No. For many years, I couldn’t do that. And when I can’t say No, when I am caught in the concrete of endurance, I become a victim. ‘No’ is power. But it is not the greatest power. ‘No’ is reactive. It can only respond, it never initiates. The greatest power is that of ‘Yes.’ Yes initiates. Yes is active. Yes adds energy. Yes is power.

And ‘yes’ can never be thrust in from outside.

Edited - Sept 2016

I wrote this essay 18 months after attending Jerry Weinberg’s Change Shop Workshop in January 1995. Change Shop was a seven day, experiential workshop that introduced many of the philosophies and methods Jerry used in his management consulting. It was an intense, densely-woven seven days and for me at least, the learnings did not stop when I left. 3 decades later, and I’m still mining gems from my subconscious.

Center Stone

Tue, 01 Oct 1996 04:41:39 -0700

I know a man who carries his brain on a string around his neck. It’s not really his brain, of course. The small nugget of turquoise is a touchstone–an icon–that reminds him to use his intellect as well as his heart when he’s involved in a stressful situation at work. For the same reason, I wear my courage on my wrist, in one of my collection of Navajo bracelets. When I’m upset, my throat closes up and I have a hard time getting the words out that I need to say. But when I move my wrist and feel the weight of the silver, I can remember to breathe and to speak my truth quietly and calmly and then deal with the consequences.

My bracelet, my friend’s nugget, are both tools; tricks of the trade that experienced managers tend to pick up along the way. There’s nothing magical about them, but they are unobtrusive, easy to customize, and can be very effective indeed.

Gantt charts and ToDo lists and scheduled release dates are secondary. They will help you produce good software on time, on budget, if you have capable people, healthy communication patterns, and a culture that enables work instead of getting in the way. There is no silver bullet, no magical methodology that you can drop into your company to change things overnight. That’s the Good News, by the way. Cookie Cutter cultures have a habit of falling on their face when things get tough and the scripted responses no longer match the territory. But when you study successful companies, you will find successful people in them, people who have learned to balance their needs with the needs of the people and the situation around them. People who have learned to notice when their throat has closed up or their brain has stopped thinking. And who have learned what to do when that happens.

I want to share with you some of the gifts I’ve been given, to show you the tools I’m learning to use. I hope to learn from you as well. I believe that life is a tool tray, a smorgasbord laid out before us, full of tips and techniques to pick up and use as needed. I draw from software engineering and management theory, but I also rely on lessons from psychology and anthropology, dog training and horse riding, things I’ve learned as a friend, a student, a parent, a spouse and child.

Jerry Weinberg talked about “creating the more fully human organization.” That’s a good goal, worthy of a lifetime.

Bread Rant

Fri, 15 May 2020 04:41:39 -0700

Advice for a Beginning Baker, from a Very Slightly More Advanced Baker

In my opinion, it’s helpful for a beginning baker to learn and follow a recipe, maybe two recipes, until you understand the steps and know what good bread dough looks and feels like. This is the important part - what does your good, healthy dough look and feel like at each step? Once you have that down in your bones, you can start to learn how to take whatever is in front of you, and to move it closer to your ideal image of that dough. That’s all that bread making is, learning how to see and feel your dough and then to keep it on the path to good bread, or to move it back to that path if it strays.

I mean, humans have been baking bread for at least 10,000 years! I guarantee you that the early bakers didn’t have A PERFECT METHOD, or even A PERFECT RECIPE that they followed!! There are a TON of methods and recipes available, and most of them work for the people who use them. Each baker will over time find/create a method that works for them, with their ingredients, their goals, and constraints.

To make the process even more “interesting”, each batch of wheat berries can vary wildly in how it mills, mixes and bakes. (The weather that year, the conditions during and after harvest, the storage process, there are lots of variables!) Like most of us, I learned this the hard way! My first emmer berries were lovely to work with. Then that supplier ran out and I bought from another (well respected) supplier. Those berries were a challenge to work with, much weaker gluten. They tasted great, but I had much denser bread for a while. Argh!

Stuff that helped me

Books and Articles

Trevor J Wilson has some wonderful videos on Instagram (@trevorjaywilson) and I learned a LOT from his wonderful ebook:
Open Crumb Mastery.
It is WELL worth the price!
Mark Woodward's excellent blog post on Breadtopia.com
"Baking Bread with Low Gluten Wheat"
Chad Robertson, of Tartine Bakery fame
Bread Book: Ideas and Innovations from the Future of Grain, Flour, and Fermentation
Peter Reinhart is the KING of all things flour, as far as I'm concerned! His books are ALL worth what I've paid for them and if you search for his name on your favorite podcast app, you'll find an incredible wealth of material!
Peter Reinhart's Whole Grain Breads: New Techniques, Extraordinary Flavor
Ken Forkish
Flour Water Salt Yeast
(look for his videos online also, really good)
Grain of Truth, by Stephen Yafa,
is a useful counter to the demonization of grain that is so popular right now.

Adam Leonti
Marc Vetri
Vanessa Kimbell and her Sourdough School books.

Podcasts

Seamus Blackley talks to Ologies host Alie Ward about Gastroegyptology and the history of bread in the Old Kingdom, Egypt. And about what happens when you attempt to revive 4500 year old yeast from ancient artifacts you found in museums.
Modernist Cuisine founder Nathan Myhrvold and head chef Francisco Migoya talk about bread thru the centuries on the Modernist BreadCrumbs podcast.
This is the podcast with Peter Reinhart and Vanessa Kimbell that got me interested in multigrain baking.
This is another podcast about bread and dietary fiber that I found fascinating.

Online Videos and Classes

The Artisan Baking Center is now offering online classes! A couple years ago I drove 500 miles to take Mike Zakowski's class on Whole Grain Breads and it was totally worth it!

I’ve got a ton of books and videos, but these are a good start.

Philosophy

I believe that people learn in different ways, I’ve experienced it myself. Find ways that work for you – books, videos, in-person classes… Whatever you can find that works! I think it’s much easier to learn bread when you’re working side-by-side with someone more experienced. Very few of us have that chance. I use books and podcasts and videos and I still had to take a full-day class taught by a professional sourdough baker before I really understood some things. And I am NOT an expert by any means, just an obsessed, geeky amateur. 🙂

I’m trying to find the exact books/videos that shaped my bread making practice, and for the life of me I can’t! But my approach basically is: I have these ingredients in front of me, this room temperature, this schedule happening in the next few days… What does my dough look and feel like right now, and what do I need to do to make it reach its peak at the time I want to bake? How fast is it developing right now, and do I need to speed it up or slow it down, or just watch and let it tell me when it’s ready? Do I want a sandwich bread or a wildly open crumb? Do I want more tension in the bread or less?

That last is more aspirational than anything, my dough handling DEFINITELY needs work. :-) But I’m not panicking over it because I learn with each loaf, I bake in a loaf pan, and I’m looking for a sandwich bread, not a wildly open crumb. So, I get better gradually and that’s OK.

And have fun making & eating good bread! That’s what it’s all about!

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.

Why I Mill My Own Flour

Sat, 16 Jan 2021 03:41:39 -0800

TL, DR - commercial roller milled flour is poison.

OK, so the word “poison” is obviously hyperbole. Nobody is being deliberately, maliciously harmed here. And obviously, the roller mill, which was developed in the mid 1800’s, is very efficient. It’s wide-spread adoption quickly allowed just a few regional and national producers to replace many thousands of local stone-ground mills. It turned the many local grain economies into a few centralized national and international systems where flour became a commodity: cheap, standardized, and easily available. Arguably, that change has saved many lives over the decades since then. However, it has had costs as well, social, economic, and nutritional costs that nobody could have predicted at the beginning of the change.

The ascent of the roller mill affected the local farmers and bakers as well as the millers, and its hungry maw soon replaced the many locally-optimized grain varieties once grown in this country with just a few types nationally available. It created a biological monoculture as well as an economic one. Of course, that has environmental costs, and risks a major disruption if and when a biological threat appears that threatens the dominant grain variety.

A modern roller mill produces white (and so-called wheat) flour that is shelf-stable and that can be kept for years without spoiling. This flour won’t spoil under normal storage conditions because it’s dead - there isn’t enough actual nutrition left in it to keep anything alive long enough to cause spoilage. The roller mill functions by slicing the germ (the baby seed, where most of the nutrition is) and the bran off the wheat berry, leaving behind the white endosperm to be ground into flour. The endosperm contains the sugars and the proteins that will combine with water to form the gluten for fluffy modern bread. The germ contains the oils and most of the nutrition, and it goes rancid quickly. Much more efficient and profitable to separate it and use it for animal feed.

Even so-called “whole-wheat” flour is usually just the roller milled white flour that has had a bit of the bran added back. And they usually don’t tell you what part(s), or how much, or how it was combined. Instead look for the phrase “stone-ground”, from a reputable miller or seller. “Stone-ground” flour has been milled in one piece, which smears the germ and the bran into the endosperm as it’s being ground into flour. So even if you buy stone-ground “white/sifted” flour (why would you, though?), it’s probably got some of the germ included.

Since I started buying wheat berries and milling my own flour, in late 2018, we’ve found that we really can’t eat commercial commodity flour any more. It spikes our blood sugar and makes us feel a bit light-headed and crappy after eating. My flour doesn’t do that. It can be a bit more difficult to get fluffy products out of whole-wheat flour, but it is possible. And the health and flavor benefits are well worth it, for us at least! My husband says you haven’t lived until you’ve had a 100% whole wheat waffle, made from freshly-milled Sonora wheat, light and fluffy, steamy with butter and maple syrup. Gack, I’m getting hungry again! :-)

Books about Whole Grain Nutrition:

Stephen Yafa
Grain of Truth
Adam Leonti
Flour Lab
Peter Reinhart
Whole Grain Breads
Marc Vetri
Mastering Pasta

Links about roller milling

Equipment Sources

I own a Komo electric mill and am very happy with it. The Mockmill brand is also quite popular and I know several people who are happy with their NutriMills. Ask around the various milling groups online and you’ll get lots of advice! (I’m volunteering as an assistant admin on a Facebook milling group, “Milling Whole Grain Goodness”. We’d be pleased to have you join us!)

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.

Pasta Formula

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 03:41:39 -0800

Egg Dough Formula

My basic pasta formula is 62% hydration. For normal fettucini and angel hair pastas I use my Kitchen Aid roller and cutter attachments. I do have a gnocchi board that I play with occasionally but I can get fresh pasta on the table in 90 minutes or so if I use the KA. I have rolled it out by hand also, and it’s fun, but the KA is convenient and fast.

For two people, with leftovers

Break 3 or 4 large eggs into a bowl and weigh them.
To end up with 62% hydration, add 100 grams of flour for every 62 grams of eggs. So if you have 150 grams of eggs, you'll need: 150/0.62 = 242 grams flour.
Weigh out and mill the correct amount of flour, based on the above formula. I think Sonoran works well here but you can use any wheat variety you want, or even a mixture of several varieties!
Add the flour to the egg mixture and knead the dough by hand for 10 minutes or so, to develop the gluten. Dip your hands in water or flour as needed. You want to end up with a dough that feels like children's playdough - firm and just slightly sticky.
Cover your dough ball tightly with plastic wrap or put it into a small air-tight bowl. Let it rest for at least 20 minutes. You can put it in the fridge overnight if you wish.
When you're ready to make pasta, cut the dough ball into 4 pieces. Flatten each ball out into rough squares, thin enough to fit into the Kitchen Aid pasta roller attachment.
Starting at the thickest setting, roll each square thru the Kitchen Aid. I do at least 2 passes at each setting and I usually go down to at least setting #5. Sprinkle extra flour onto the dough as need to keep it from sticking.
When you have each square rolled out, change attachments to the cutter and cut out at whatever width you want. These days I usually do the angelhair pasta, I like how it holds my usual sauces.
I've tried drying the pasta on a rack, but it's easiest for me just to form it into little bird's nests on my pasta board (sprinkle it with extra flour as you form the nest, so the strands don't stick together). Each bird's nest is about one helping of pasta. If you have any leftover, it's easy to slide each nest into a sandwich bag and then put it in the fridge or a freezer bag and freeze it.

Books

Marc Vetri
Mastering Pasta

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.

Wheat & Grain Resources

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 03:41:39 -0800

Grains I use often:

Modern Varieties

hard red wheat - for breads
hard white wheat - for breads, a milder flavor than the reds
soft white wheat - for cakes and cookies

Heritage Varieties

Red Fife (good for bread)
Rouge de Bordeaux (works really well for bread)
Sonora white (a soft white, one of the earliest wheats planted in North America)
Kamut

Ancient Varieties

einkorn (the original wild wheat)
emmer (the Egyptians used this to make the bread that fed the pyramid builders)
spelt (the Romans were fond of spelt)

Misc

oat groats (I flake my own oatmeal every morning, yummmmm!)
Hopi blue corn
rye

Online Sources

AncientGrains.com
AnsonMills.com
Breadtopia.com
Hayden Flour Mills
Palouse Brand, Palouse, WA
Pleasant Hill Grains
Purcell Mountain Farms
- from Idaho, blue corn, oats, grains, and truly wonderful dried tart apricots
Ramona Farms
- Native American grains and beans
Rancho Gordo Beans
Chimayo Chili Brothers
- recommended by Seamus Blackley

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.

Bread Formula

Wed, 12 Jan 2022 03:41:39 -0800

This will make one normal sized sandwich loaf or two mini loaves. You can use Baker’s Math to scale it up as needed.

Ingredients List:

1 15 oz can of Organic Pears, canned in pear juice, warmed to approx 80F
536 gram flour (I like a combination of Rouge de Bordeaux, spelt, and einkorn, maybe with a handful of fresh-milled oat groats thrown in)
7 - 10 gram sea salt
less than 1/4 tsp yeast, OR approx 20 grams sourdough starter
Optional - an extra 90 gram luke-warm water, to increase the hydration of the dough
Optional - 1 tbsp butter or olive oil
Optional - 1 egg, or 1 egg yolk (if you use a whole egg, subtract 40 g water from the optional water)
Optional - spices (I often use a combination of fresh-ground coriander, celery seed, ground ginger, and dried ground whole lemon)
Optional - a tablespoon or more of whey poured off of plain yogurt, the kind with live bacteria

Steps:

Blend the contents of the can of pears (both the pears and the liquid) until smooth, and put them into a large see-thru container.
Add any desired spices and butter/olive oils into the liquid pears.
Measure out your yeast or sourdough starter and mix it into the liquid.
Weigh the salt out and put aside until later - DO NOT ADD NOW!

Weigh the wheat berries and mill them directly into the liquid. Stir until you have a rough dough.

Cover and leave for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
Knead the dough until it's soft, the gluten is well-developed, and you can pull a windowpane. (Usually 10 minutes, in my kitchen.)
Note - I keep a bowl of water nearby when I'm kneading and I dip my hands in it occasionally. It works better than flour, in my opinion.
About halfway thru the kneading, stretch the dough out, sprinkle the salt on it, roll it up, and continue kneading.

Put the dough back into the container, cover and leave in a warm place until it's doubled in size.

Butter and generously flour your bread pans. (I usually use rice flour.)
Divide and shape the dough into loaves, and carefully put them into the bread pans. (Try not to knock the air out of the dough!)
Sprinkle flour on the top of the loaves. Cover the pans and leave for one or two hours, until the dough is well-risen and jiggly.
Preheat the oven and your dutch oven to 450F.
Optional - Slash the top of your bread, if you're planning to do so.

Pull the cover off the DO, quickly and carefully add the bread pans AND a small measuring cup of ice, put the lid back on the DO and put it back into the hot oven.
Immediately turn the oven down. (I use 400F if I didn't add any oils, 375F if I added butter or olive oil to the dough.)
Bake for 20 minutes. When the timer goes off, remove the lid from the dutch oven, continue baking for 15 or 20 minutes more.
It's done when the bread is as dark as desired and a thermometer reads between 200F and 210F. Immediately remove the bread from the pans, and let cool for at least an hour on a wire rack.
Try not to cut it until it is completely cool. Note that it won't kill you if you do cut it warm, but the crumb is still setting so technically it's not quite finished baking yet. And if you cut it too early, it might go stale faster because some of the steam escaped when it was cut.

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.

Multi-Grain Bread Formula

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 03:41:39 -0800

This is a multi-grain 100% whole-grain sandwich bread that I make at least weekly for my husband.

I use a lot of heritage and ancient grains in my breads so the gluten is weaker than modern bread wheats. I find it easier to use bread pans instead of fighting the nature of the grains I have chosen to use.

This recipe will make one normal loaf or two small loaves. If you chose to make a free-standing boule or batard you might have more success if you refrigerate it and bake it straight from the cold. I don’t have much experience with free-standing loaves. I’d love to know how it works for you!

Ingredients:	Amount:	%
Hard Wheat:
hard red	170g	42.50%
hard white	170g	42.50%
TOTAL Hard Wheat	340g	85.00%

Ancient Wheats:
spelt	30g	7.50%
einkorn	30g	7.50%
TOTAL Wheat	400g	100.00%

Misc Grains:
oat groats	20g	5.00%
blue corn	20g	5.00%
millet	20g	5.00%
rye	10g	2.50%
barley	10g	2.50%
flax	10g	2.50%
buckwheat	5g	1.25%
teff	5g	1.25%
Kernza	5g	1.25%
amaranth	5g	1.25%
TOTAL Misc Grains	110g	27.50%

15oz can organic pears	15oz
starter	40g	10.00%
salt	7g	1.75%
1 large egg	~50g

OPTIONAL:
dried flowers, powdered	1-2 tsp
dried lemon powder	1-2 tsp
dried hibiscus powder	1-2 tsp
extra water	up to 80g

Instructions:

Blend the can of pears, liquid and all. (Check the temperature of the pears, ideally I want my liquids around 80F because I want my dough to be somewhere around 80F after mixing.) Add the starter and any optional ingredients such as dried flowers, lemon powder, etc to the pear pulp here. DO NOT add the salt yet.
Weigh the hard red and hard white wheats and mill them into flour. Add that flour to the blended pears. Mix until JUST moistened. Cover and let it rest for 60+ minutes. You are letting the hard modern wheats and bran absorb as much liquid as they can before you start kneading the dough.
After the dough has rested, add the egg and the additional water if you are using them. Knead it in briefly.
Mill your spelt, einkorn and misc grains into flour, add the salt to that flour and mix it around well. Add that flour to your dough and knead until you reach a windowpane . (I use my Anksrum mixer and it usually takes me 20-25 minutes to reach a windowpane, it used to take me about 10 or 15 minutes when I kneaded by hand. Your mileage may vary, of course.)
Move the dough to a container where it can bulk ferment for several hours. Cover it and wait. You want it to at least double in volume, my last dough tripled without any apparent negative effects. (I forgot it - oops!)
After it’s risen for a bit, feel free to pop it into the fridge for a few hours or overnight if you need to. You can take it out of the fridge tomorrow, let it come up to room temperature and continue without harm. And the flavors will probably be a bit deeper and more complex with the extended ferment!
When you are ready to shape it, the dough should be at least doubled in volume, it should be bubbly, and jiggly if you shake it. It should be FULL of air and ‘feel’ alive.
Butter your bread pans.
Gently remove the dough from the container without deflating it, divide it (if you’re making two small loaves like I do), and shape it into loaves. Gently put the shaped loaves into the bread pans, cover them and leave them in a warm place to rise for at least an hour or two. (This is another good time to refrigerate the dough if you need to bake it tomorrow.)
Preheat your oven and your dutch oven if you’re using one.
Slash the top of your loaves. (This step is optional but I find it does usually give me more height. The only time I don’t slash is if I forgot the dough and it over-fermented and feels a bit ‘slack’. Oops.)
Bake the loaves at 400F for 20 minutes with steam, remove the lid of the dutch oven to release the steam and bake lid off at 370F for another 20 minutes. Use a thermometer to check the interior temperature of the loaf, it should be between 200F and 210F.
Remove the loaves from the bread pans and let cool on a rack for AT LEAST one hour before cutting them.

Tips:

Feel free to mix and match your misc grains. This is just a combination that I like, that I feel gives a wide range of nutrients and dietary fibers.

It’s much easier if you mix the whole grains up before hand, so you don’t have to run around frantically measuring grains while you’re trying to bake. I keep a large sealed container that holds several pounds of my mixed whole grains, ready to mill as needed.

If you’re interested, this is the podcast from Peter Reinhart that got me interested in multigrain baking. And here is another podcast about the health effects of dietary fiber that I found fascinating.

Summary:

desired final dough weight: 900g to 1050g

desired final flour weight: 510g

estimated hydration: ~77% (difficult to measure because of the pear pulp and optional liquids)

BAKE:

20 min @ 400F w steam

~20 min @ 370F no steam

Note:

All views expressed are my own opinions, based solely on my own research and experience. I am not a professional baker. Nothing in this blog is professional nutritional or medical advice. I do not include affiliate links, I am not compensated for any links or recommendations on this blog.